If this cockroach doesn't die, I will.

by Pairs

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    17 track double vinyl by Shanghai two piece, Pairs.
    Recorded at the start of July, 2012 in a bomb shelter in Shanghai, China with The Horses.
    Released on November 1st by Metal Postcard.

    Record goes alright. Some pretty good tracks. Songs about frustration, cock suckery, idiots being in positions of power and a heap of other worldly themes.


    Includes unlimited streaming of If this cockroach doesn't die, I will. via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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Double record out on Metal Postcard.


released November 1, 2012

Recorded and Mixed by The Horses in Studio Poney, Shanghai.



all rights reserved


Pairs 上海市, China

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Track Name: Permanent Residence
How long until it takes my muscles over
Just when will I be bones in a mauve cardy
Who says that I’ll need some bolts in my hip
And a tube shoved in my bladder through the eye of my dick

How long will it be until I can barely blink
Just when will I be staring out the window over the nursing home sink
Who says that I’ll be shaken right in to the ground
The youngest case of old age reported in this town

How long until my kids see me cry
Just when will people need to whisper that that kids father just died
A horrible death way too young
Just as permanent residence was granted to their Mum

Goddamn, what a shit awful life
Spending my final moments looking in the eyes of the mid wife
Well, she’ll say as she takes in my hand
At least you made a double record with your shit awful band
Track Name: Cat Food
I’m 26 years old right now and I’m tired of these old pricks letting me down
Well, I’ll just have to get used to it somehow
But I thought you had the will to make a change, I thought you had the frame of mind to want to make things better
But you’re just wrapped up in your game.
So what’s the point of you, what do you do?
But shoot down ideas that I give to you
A camel is a horse designed by committee now I know that’s really true.
So what’s the point of you, why are you here?
Pissing in the same wind, year after year
A camel is a horse designed by committee now I know that’s really true.
But you’re in a position now to do a little, little good.
Track Name: A surgeon at a hospital in Shanghai severed a nerve in my groin
I heard that Simon got well settled
I heard that Tracy just got pregnant
I heard that Ash arrived in Beijing
I heard that Shen is heading back too

I heard that God Bows are recording
I heard that Benjii’s getting married
I heard that Sean’s running a festival
Here it comes – Helen took it off now

I heard that Howie’s back in hospital
I heard that Adam’s making t-shirts
I heard that Tom just booked The Smith Street Band
I heard that Luke confirmed his tour

I heard that Rob just moved house
I heard that Daniel’s been writing
I heard that Carol wants a t-shirt
Here it comes – Helen took it off now

I heard that Ian went to Songjiang
I heard that Momo got a pay rise
I heard that Goblin won some poker
I heard that Richard got a transfer

I heard that Milford making plans
I heard that Wooster got in the exhibition
I heard that Tom and Greig got a sponsor
Here it comes – Helen took it off now

I heard that Gigi going back to school
I heard that Tim is doing team building
I heard that Toshi started a new band
I heard that Jake still hates on Word Art

I heard that Matt just made a movie
I heard that Brian booked a show
I heard that Dostav made it back here
Here it comes – Helen took it off now

I heard that Sophia’s doing vinyl
I heard that Vic applied for school
I heard that Achmed works real hard
I heard that Skinny’s on the mend

I heard that Lau Lau had a good night
I heard that F just got a new job
I heard that I just got engaged
Here it comes – Helen took it off now

I heard that Erin beat her manager
I heard that Mum just bought a house
I heard that Morgan’s in a new band
I heard that Bren just met a girl

I heard that Josh is keeping busy
I heard that Luke is leaving China
I heard that Michael is producing
Here it comes – Helen took it off now

I heard that Dennis is on tour
I heard that Roses just passed her course
I heard that Adam and Catlin are on the beach somewhere
I heard that Kidd is still in Wuhan

I heard that Nevin’s fighting the good fight
I heard that Raph and Clem just mixed this shit
I heard that Katri found a great guy
Here it comes – Helen took it off now
Track Name: Aquarium
I'm sorry for my ego - put my body in a place where it should not be.
I'm sorry for my ego - put my lips on the tracks and you cunts were smack.
I'm sorry for my ego - I've burnt bridge after bridge after bridge after bridge.
I'm sorry for my ego - I should just keep these thoughts close.
Track Name: You've wasted all your time
You've done nothing with the time you've had
I know you want to sleep all day
But you'll do nothing with the life you have.
Track Name: If you can do better, why don't you do better?
If you can do better, why don't you do better?
Track Name: Part Songs
There has to be
Another place
Where I don't have to pay 50 kuai
To see a girl get date raped.
Track Name: Pre Educated
I don’t know how you get through a day
With nothing nice in your head and few good words to say
They closest you came was saying that Mr. Bean is funny, I think
I saw your bad side and it was the worst I’d ever seen

I don’t know how you got through the year
A dark fuzz around you that kept others in fear
The same five days, same four dresses, same five days same four dresses
It’s expected if you’re husband fights on with what’s in his blood

I hope that motherhood wrings the bitch right out of you.
Track Name: Slambourine Man
Enjoyed heading out before you came around
Was in to new things before I heard your sound
This place felt free until you arrived in town
I mumble this because I can’t match you pound for pound
Track Name: Front Door
I know that there's a front door
But you know that there's a back door
And I know that there's a set of rules around but you seem to think they don't apply to you.
Track Name: You Never Came Alive
You never came alive
Stretched out every shirt you ever had
Had trouble finding girls’ whose attention you could grab

You never came alive
Spent your time playing PSP with your wife
It’s not hard to lose direction when you never had a life

You never came alive,
Never felt that dull beat in your chest.
Spent your time on the couch taking an un-deserved rest

You never came alive
Can’t imagine what they’ll say about you when you die
He was rarely around and a nothing kind of guy
Track Name: Four Mouths
You hitched your cart to a shit horse
Watching shit fish
Shit in a shit pond
Track Name: Wil, please move to Shanghai
I’m ok that your shit eating band has nothing nice to say about me
And when we break up, you won’t bother with an online obituary
At our last show there will be no white man parade
No farewell to good times and piss weak promises that these memories won’t fade

It speaks of this scene that so many can see themselves in these shit eating words, sung out of tune by a smug self congratulating shit eating country turd.

I know that I’m a small man
I know where I go wrong
In thinking that an empty vessel can deliver emotion in a song

But good chords don’t make good songs
Good chords won’t work at all
If they’re played by soulless fingers
Standing with local heroes to fool you that they’re tall

I promise I’ll really try to stop being such a judgmental prick
If you can throw some song at me that really sticks
If you can give an idea to roll with, if you can speak something that speaks to me, if you can make me feel something
Track Name: Don't fly my body back
If I die here
Don't fly my body back
I don't care where I'm laid to rest
I'll always know where my home is